Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Imagine: Pope

Genre: Simulation
Format: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Ubisoft

Pope Game Nintendo DS Cover
Following titles in this series such as Imagine:Family Doctor, Imagine:Movie Star and Imagine:Master Chef, we should have expected the arrival of this game. After all, what young boy (or girl) hasn't, at some point, dreamed of being the leader of the worldwide Catholic Church?

This game allows youngsters to experience all aspects of the papacy, including: the issue of papal bulls, the proclamation of beatification, state visits and, perhaps most entertaining, dodging deranged assassins in the Pope Mobile.

Pope Game Screen Shot
Don't speed in the Pope Mobile

Graphically similar to the rest of the Imagine series, this game is entertaining but will probably only appeal to children of a Catholic persuasion.

VT Rating: 7/10

Saturday, 14 May 2011

The Adventures of Beatie The Hat

Genre: God Knows
Format: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Neptune

Beatrice Hat Sarah Ferguson Pippa Middleton Bottom
Based on the forthcoming childrens books, by cash whore Sarah Ferguson, comes this very average game.

Embittered by the missing invite to the Royal Wedding of Wills and Kate, Sarah created this series of books based on the appalling hat that her daughter, Beatrice, wore to 'that' wedding. 

Dubbed Beatie, this spiderlike Hat 'character' gets into a series of troublesome encounters aided by her best friend, Pippa (who, suspiciously, looks like a hovering backside)

It's good fun.

VT Rating: 7/10

Friday, 13 May 2011

Fast & Furious

Genre: Racing
Format: Nintendo DS
PEGI: 12
Publisher: Neptune

Another movie tie-in...yawn.

Hang on a minute, this is no ordinary tie-in. It's much worse than that.

Total Excitement
Neptune Studio's 'skilled' programmers came up with an idea, ran it up the flagpole, removed the flag and defecated all over it. This putrid canker sore of a game is the result.

Retailing at £39.99, we don't think it's really worth it. Wait a while and buy it used for £19.99.

VT Rating: 7/10

Monday, 9 May 2011

Navy Seals: Bloodbath in Abbottabad

Genre: Third Person Shooter
Format: PS3, Xbox 360
PEGI: 18
Publisher: A&E

Navy Seals: Bloodbath in Abbottabad
HBO had the TV film in production within 24 hours of the death of Osama Bin Laden. It will be shown on May 25th and we wait for it with baited breath.

You can't argue with the cast: Hugh Jackman and Matt Damon as members of the elite Navy Seal Team 6, Robert Downey Jr as Osama Bin Laden and Colin Firth as Barrack Obama. It sounds really good. However, the game is a different matter...

Now, many people are going to want to shoot Osama Bin Laden in the head themselves, albeit in a virtual environment, so you cannot blame A&E for rushing this game into production. You do get to deal the fatal blow to the terrorist leader, so this game delivers in that respect. Not in many others though.

Navy Seals: Bloodbath in Abbottabad
There he is! Kill him! KILL HIM!!!
Graphically, the game is generic. Shooting bad guys in poorly rendered corridors is the order of the day. Sound is, on the whole, woeful, but does boast some character voicing by the actors in the forthcoming film. Colin Firth as Obama, in the US Command cutscenes, is so bad he's good. Storyline, well you know what happened.

You might like this, we were not impressed.

VT Rating: 7/10

Monday, 2 May 2011

Burying Osama Bin Laden

Genre: Humour
Format: Mobile Phone
Publisher: Kharma

Osama Bin Laden Buried at sea

An obviously hastily produced download for mobile phones, this app allows you to bury Osama Bin Laden in a variety of interesting ways.

It's just possible that Kharma had this application in production waiting for the inevitable(?) day when Bin Laden was killed by US forces. However, the graphics and production are simply woeful - design may have began about 7 hours ago.

If you think you might gain satisfaction from lowering the corpse of the recently deceased terrorist leader into a shark infested ocean or burying him in a rat infested cavern - then this 'thing' is for you.

VT Rating: 7/10